First time here? Start voting, answering, asking or checkout the FAQ!
x
You have
50
points
  • Register
Welcome to AskMommy.ca Q&A, where you can ask pregnancy, baby and parenting related questions and receive answers from other members of the community.

My husband is leaving for work & I am nervous

13 votes
5 weeks ago I lived one of the most intense, scary moment of my life. I gave birth to my son.

I was hospitalized 2 days before the birth due to severe preclampsia. According to the doctors it's a miracle I didn't had a seizure or go into a coma before...

Since then I've been copping with intense anxiety, guilt, suicide thoughts , irritability and at times I can't even cope with my baby crying...

Now, in all that drama, there is good...

I have a partner who's just amazing with all this, he was with me the whole time I was at the hospital, taking care of our baby since I couldn't

He's been very patient, loving and caring in all this.  In fact, things have been pretty good since our boy is born.

But soon the support ends.. I'll be alone in my apartment with a miniature human that is my flesh and blood, that I try so hard to be there for but struggle to be with my self.

I know all I have to do is call my partner, roommate or even my mom to help... or hell 911 for all I care... but I'm scared to even reach that moment.

Again I'm sorry for the long rant... I guess I do hope someone can comment with advice or support...Thanks everyone
asked in You and baby by Snooks (220 points)

4 Answers

3 votes

 

I think it is great that you are asking this question.  It shows a high level of responsibility towards your son.  

Is it possible to have a gradual transition, maybe your partner working for half days or your mom coming over for part of the day for the first week.  You could also have your partner/mom/roomate check in on you regularly to make sure all is good.

In the end the focus should be on the safety of you and your child. Don't be afraid to ask for help from family, friends, or even neighbours. And if the anxiety, guilt, suicide thoughts, or irritability are still present or re-emerge you should see your doctor.

answered by cmic (4,473 points)
3 votes

We had some drama surrounding our first pregnancy/delivery as well.  After all that, my husband had to leave for 2 months of training in another province.  I have no family where we live and I know no one (we're new here).  To understate, I was scared.  Looking back, I didn't have a reason to be.  My sister gave me good advice for post partum: she said there's nothing wrong with putting your baby down in their crib, closing the door and walking away for 10 minutes max if you need it.  Sometimes their crying is bound to drive you bonkers and instead of doing something irreversible, put them down and walk away.  That helped my considerably.  Turns out, the time by ourselves was cool.  We went to the mall (I needed to be around adults and I think some of the clerks knew I was lonely... yikes), we ate out at restaurants, we drove around to learn our new city, we walked around the park.  Not only did this help with my blues but we created this super crazy bond.  I know now what his cries mean, when he's bored, how to entertain him and when he's overstimulated and needs a nap.  My husband thinks I'm a super mom, but that alone time really sharpened my mom-skills.  You'll be fine.  You'll look back and wonder why you were so worried.  The ability is hard wired inside somewhere, you're just gonna get baptised by fire is all.  Good luck.  If you need any support, we're all waiting for you here on this website with our email addresses.

answered by channylaf (3,549 points)
3 votes
Look in your area to find "Mom/Baby Groups'.  My sister-in-law participates in a wonderful group & it's freee!  It's a daycare setting, but mom/dad must participate.  The centre is a wonderful gathering place, they get to talk with other moms & share concerns, stories & baby gets to interact with other children!  This gets them both out of the house & they don't feel so completely alone!  Best of luck Snooks!
answered by bcpotts (7,692 points)
I'm gonna take that advice too bcpotts!
0 votes
Just take it day by day and know that you have a family that loves you.  That is a lot more than a lot of people can say.  Consider yourself lucky.
answered by Samantha (269 points)