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Why is my kid toilet trained at school but not at home?

16 votes
I have a query. My 3-yr old boy has been a tricky kid to toilet train. We have been struggling with him for over a year. He just refuses to go to the potty, and when he does it's a big fit. At school, his day care teachers say he goes "no problem". He initiates toileting by himself (#1 and #2) and they never have to remind him. What is up with this!?! My husband and I are frazzled. My hubby gets angry when he poops his pull-up and sends him to bed as punishment. This has not worked to change the behaviour. Any tips?
asked in Potty training by jenna3967 (2,690 points)

4 Answers

4 votes
Maybe he wants to fit-in & follows what the other children are doing in school.  At home, maybe try a chart system.  When he goes like a big boy, he gets a sticker or check mark & at the end of the week, he can earn a special treat from the dollar store or go out for a special treat (ice-cream.)
answered by karlisss (3,585 points)
3 votes
You should ask how they trained him at the school and maybe it is because you are watching your child so closely at home.  I heard that could be a problem for kids.  The embaressment of having stinky pants in public coul also answer the question why he is good away.
answered by Samantha (269 points)
4 votes

Here is a list of tips to help stop potty training regression.  Hope it helps.

 

Tips to end potty training regression:

  1. Empower your child. Show her you know she can do it.
  2. Be consistent!
  3. Provide a lot of positive reinforcement for remaining dry.
  4. No negative attention and very few words regarding wet clothes.
  5. Regular reminders to go to the bathroom to help create the habit (even just the habit of considering the need to go to the bathroom). Not as a question, “do you need to go”, instead as a statement, “ time to go to the bathroom”.
  6. Encourage your child to help with cleaning up the messes (children enjoy helping; this is not a punishment).
  7. Be consistent (I can’t repeat this enough!)
  8. Don’t engage in long discussions, just clear, matter-of-fact directions and lots of praise.
  9. Do not turn this into a disciplinary matter!
answered by BarbT (226 points)
1 vote
You will find this happens until your kids are about 25.  From daycare until about grade two it is because of the structure and routines.  There isn't much time for straggling behind the rest of the class so it is easier to just follow.  They are learning how the system works.  At home they feel more comfortable and will do what they want, when they want, how they want.

 From grade 3 to grade 9 they want to fit in so they are well behaved at their friends houses while being holy terrors at home.  They develope and test there new "attitude" skill set at home where it is safe and controlled.  They know you will likely still love them afterward.

 From grade 10 until the age of 25 you just don't understand ... or so they think.  Everyone else will be smarter than you, even the nieghbours dog.  They will think all the other parents are cooler than you (especially if you use the word "cooler" in this way) and know everything that you don't (like how to fix the computer).

At 25 it starts to click.  They are starting a steady job, might even have a family of their own.  They realize, hey, maybe my parents did know what they were doing ... what have I done ...   Ok the last part may be a stretch, but you get the picture.
answered by cmic (4,473 points)